Can finish with" I dont want to just be a nurse , I want to be a graduate of "school name" school of nursing " Yours is a good essay, but I might rearrange your essay to put your Bio first and edit the first 2 paragraphs into the 1 paragraph and make that the middle.. I agree that you need to tell them why you will be a good candidate for their program.. Its good, but It gives the appearance of a speech. Who you are, why you want to be a nurse , why you chose thier school and why you are a good candidate for their program.
Last edit by trepinCT on Jan 5, ' Jan 5, '07 by Moondance Joined: Since I was returning to school for a second career, I thought it would be important for them to know why I had chose to pursue nursing, what it would mean to me, and what I thought I could bring to the nursing profession. I think trepinCT had some great feedback on your essay. I sent mine in a few months ago, but it was composed in practically the same order as trepinCT mentions.
Jan 8, '07 by zefutebolera Joined: Thank you so much for your suggestions! I really appreciate it! It helped me a lot. This is my revision, please tell me what you think.
Everyday I would see them on the streets begging others for money just so they could treat their ailing relatives. It made me more aware of the situation and now that I am more mature, I know that I could do my part to help the situation. I would have chosen to become a doctor, yet I believe that being one would make me feel numb about the patients feelings and be more concerned with treating their diseases. I chose nursing because this allows me to interact more with people. Nursing is a very powerful profession, it allows people to influence and touch lives.
I am very willing to achieve this big responsibility. I am eager to be there for the patients through illness, injury pain, loss, grieving, birth, growth, aging and health. I am very eager to care for someone and experience that great feeling. I felt that I was helpless for some time, and I believe that now is the time to be there for others and help them through their challenging times.
I am open and honest to communication, and these are also important traits that a nurse needs. Personally, having the opportunity to impact someone everyday is very powerful. Nursing is one of the few careers that does not only help others but also helps yourself.
It is a profession that is exciting, ever changing, diverse, and allows opportunity for learning something new everyday. I chose the College of Health Professions of Temple University because I believe that this would significantly educate and prepare me for my future in nursing.
The College of Health Professions also stands out as a national leader in the education of health professionals. I am very pleased with my experience as a Temple undergraduate and I believe that the College of Health Professions would be consistent with that or be even better. Being a nurse is tough, but in the end of the day, I will say that this is that path that I chose and I am proud of it, then I will remember that feeling of helping a complete stranger and at that moment, I will feel rewarded.
Jan 8, '07 by trepinCT Joined: Try to be more brief, I was given advice from a few instructors and directors of nursing schools and they said to keep it brief. It would even help for you to show your essay to a writing professor at your school. Did you already take composition? Maybe ask that professor to check it out, even your College counselor can look over your essay..
You have the skill to write a great essay, you really know how to put your feelings into words, you just need to edit it a bit more, they want more of YOU in the essay should be more of a BIO..
Mention that seeing the poverty and lack of good health care drove you to the desire to become a nurseThat is a few of your sentences rolled up into one brief explanantion of your experience in the Phillipines edit and Everywhere you defined what a nurse is or should be..
I would love to help you out and go through the whole essay with you because it has so many strong points. I Hope I am not offending you with my critique. When is the essay due???? Let me know if you would like more help. My brother in law is an RN and now an administrator, he also spent time as an instructor as was another RN friend of mine and they really helped me clean up my essay , shorten it and still make it powerful.
Dont mention that your education with them would be consistent or better.. My mind if flowing with ideas!!!!
Let me know of you need more!!!! The essay is due on Feb 15, but I want to submit it as soon as possible since I'm starting my second semster next week. I don't want to worry about this plus school. I'm gonna edit it more tomorrow and I'll repost it again! Thanks so much for your suggestions it really helps a lot. I really hate writing essays, I just think that I suck at it that's why I need a lot of suggestions, but taking composition and writing classes has improved my writing and I'm very thankful for that!
Jan 9, '07 by zefutebolera Joined: Jan 9, '07 by trepinCT Joined: Jan 11, '07 by 4evrhisma Joined: I agree with trepinCT, I think you should leave out the "definintion of a nurse" part, because it's not "somebody who cares for a sick person.
If you wanted to use a definition, I would use the actual definition, citing the dictionary you got it from, and explain how you fit into that definition. I'm just saying that, because they may be sticklers about that kind of thing. It's an adventure, a continuous learning process that I embark on bravely each day, in search of life changing events and miracles.
Touching the lives of others is a treasure chest overflowing with metaphorical gold, whether the help I provide is of great measure or remains unnoticed.
The pride I hold in saying, "I'm going to be a nurse," is immeasurable. Nursing is more than a profession of integrity and compassion, it is a privilege that measures out my values as a human being and the responsibilities granted to me with the precious gift of life. The first time I truly touched a person's life, although the encounter was brief, was surprisingly fulfilling. A strong feeling of accomplishment and self-worth spread rapidly throughout my body and soul that no average "good deed" has ever accomplished.
Nursing exceeds that average deed by far. After each experience, I'm left with an awestruck attitude of purpose, knowing that I am needed in someone's life. By saying, "I'm going to be a nurse" each morning, I get the motivation needed to survive the awaited day ahead of me with a smile Jul 5, '06 by VickyRN Occupation:
This is an excellent essay (written from the heart): Being a Nurse Is More Than a Job, It's a Treasure To me, being a nurse is far more than a job or even a career. It's an adventure, a continuous learning process that I embark on bravely each day, in search of life changing events and miracles.
Why I want to be a nurse essay highlights the reasons that have motivated me to want to become a nurse in the future. I believe becoming a nurse is a calling and a sacrifice that not everyone is willing to make [email protected] Why I Want and Hope to Be a Nurse Someday.
Writing sample of essay on a given topic "Why I Want To Be A Nurse" Why I want to be a Nurse Many a times are we inspired to do what the people we are looking up to do. In this context, I am talking about parents, guardians, relatives or friends. The Excellent Why I Want to Be a Nurse Essay Admission Paper Example. If you want to be admitted to nursing school, you will have to write a why I want to be a nurse essay.
You want to use your essay as a tool to show why you should go to their school, versus simply stating why you want to go there. Use personal examples to make your essay . In my essay, I decided to answer the question what inspired me to become a nurse. And I can say for sure that there are numerous reasons, but the main was evident. A lot of people are still keep asking me why do you want to be a nurse, and they are getting the same answer.